I've been thinking about escorts by Fred Cederholm

column for on/after May 6th 2007

          
I've been thinking about escorts. Actually I've been thinking  about scandals, words, outings,
fantasies, Johns, and doublespeak,   Last week saw the accelerated leaking of a scandal
in Washington DC which heralds  from the State Department to the Pentagon, from K-Street
to the media, and from law firms to academia. A "fantasy purveying entrepreneur" in California 
who had been indicted for running an "escort" service in our nation's Capitol wasn't going to
just plead out and run. She was going to name names by taking her little black book -
or should I say her phone logs - public. She promises that her lawyers will potentially subpoena
any client as a defense to testify "ain't nothin' dirty going on."  (Dum, dum-de-dum, 
dum-dum! - The minute you walked in the joint, BOOM-BOOM, I could see you were a
man of distinction, A real big spender, Good looking, so refined.)

          
You see more than our world is changing before our eyes - our very vocabulary of favored
words and expressions is morphing before us as well. I pride myself on being a wordsmith -
carefully selecting the appropriate words for use in each of my columns. A William F.
Buckley might put it "as not being too much the pedant in parsing the absolute semantic
nuance."  In Fredspeak: "Ya can't be too careful in pickin' the right word." (Say, 
wouldn't you like to know What's going on in my mind?)

          
As more and more words and/ or phases are being "re-defined" in ways that befuddle
a Merriam-Webster, I find myself being ever more careful not to "faux pas" (French -
"for foot in mouth") with an UNINTENDED double-entendre. My deliberate ones are
just fine because they add to the entertainment value of the THINK*NG's. (Did he
just say what I TH*NK he did?) Am I the only one old enough to remember when
being/feeling "gay" meant happy or festive - instead coming across as dour or
morose?  An douting" used to refer to a field trip, or a picnic. A "fantasy" was 
some pipe dream like maybe getting to drive a Ferrari, or in the negative, 
not having a golf score that would make any bowler proud (or vice versa). (Do 
you wanna have fun? Ssssssssssss... How's about a few laughs?)

          
As this titillating saga about moral failings in the beltway unravels, not only will
the wars, the economy, the dollar, the markets be short-sheeted; but Paris,
Brittney, Anna Nicole, and company will be as well. We will see more of our f
amiliar words and expressions re-defined in the unending efforts to accentuate
the positive and mitigate the negative. I remember how "escort" (the noun and
the verb) once referred to a father proudly walking his daughter down the aisle
at her wedding, or a young high school couple proceeding in the grand march of
their Spring Prom. This "escorting" was done before a large audience of family and
friends. Put those rights of passage into this current usage and the something innocent 
and beautiful seems downright kinky. (How's about (fun, fun, fun) a few laughs?
I can show you a...good time...)

        
To date, we only know the names of a few participants in this "companionship of 90
minutes for $275 bucks" business. Still., we also know that numerous "Johns" have
hired the most expensive of DC's lawyers - at even far larger hourly fees - to keep
their names out of the limelight. The use of "Johns" as an anonymous class actually
has its origins in the Book of Revelations. John was the last of the apostles who was
entrusted with writing of the Prophesy of Revelations. His subsequent followers of 
anointed/ enlightened ones were called the "John Class." They were chosen to 
be keepers of the faith during the times of trial. Those "Johns" are a far cry from these
"Johns," but this is yet a further example how words/ phrases are spun and twisted to
mislead. (So, let me get right to the point, BOOM-BOOM, I don't pop my cork for every
guy I see. Hey, big spender! Hey, big 
spender! )

        
This story will not go away and the anonymous Johns (and Janes) will continue to be
dragged out into the light of day. Were it not for the tragedy of the destroyed lives,
careers, and families; this coming summer fest of true reality TV would be something
to savor (and relish) in some pious, sanctimonious, voyeuristic, gratifying way. But remember.
only he who is without sin should cast the first stone. Or, to paraphrase our former 
President "Slick:" it only counts as sex, if you BOTH enjoy it. (Hey, big spender! Hey, big
spender! Spennnnd..a little tiiiiime with ...me! Dum, dum-de-dum, dum-dum!) I'm Fred
Cederholm and I've been thinking. You should be thinking, too.

Copyright 2007 Questions, Inc. All rights reserved.


The lyric excerpts included throughout in the text of the column are from
the song "Big Spender" - music by Cy Coleman (1929- 2004) and Lyrics by
Dorothy Fields (1905- 1974). This appeared in an opening scene of the Bob
Fosse Musical "Sweet Charity" which opened on Broadway January 29, 1966.All
lyrics are property and copyright of their ownersand are provided for
educational purposes only.

You may not have gotten TH*NK*NG MARKETS for some reason. This one has done
very well with readers of other sites and is definately in line with the
message of Moneyfiles and real wealth society.

Fred C asklet@rochelle.net